Can I Have a Lick of Your Cornetto?

New feature! Having an impenetrable backlog of old shit that's about as unpublishable as Hannibal Rising, I've decided to just slap it up on the internet in the vague hope at least someone will find enjoyment out of it.

The following piece was written mere moments ago in a pathetic attempt to finish it before a deadline that had in fact expired four days earlier. Oh well.

Can I Have a Lick of Your Cornetto?

He sat on the sunbed, a mediocre crime novel in his hands.

 “Hey, Eddie?”

He spun his head, just in time to see Bella press an ice cream gently against his nose.

“Got ya!” she said, giving her own cone a lick.

Eddie wiped the lump of pink off his nose and licked it from his fingers. “Was that strictly needed?”

She shrugged. “Not really. Fun, though.”

He shrugged back. “Fair enough.”

“I’ll do you a trade. Half your sunbed for an ice cream.”

“Depends. What flavour?”

“Vanilla.”

“Did you get me vanilla solely because I might not like it and therefore you could have it?”

“…maybe.”

“Too bad. You could have gotten me dog poo flavour and I’d still eat it solely to spite you.” He shuffled over. “You got enough room there?”

“Obviously not. Now move over more or I’ll bloody sit on you.”

Eddie surrendered another millimetre of space. Bella responded maturely by sitting down and pushing until they shared the bed.

“Suppose that works too,” he said, snatching the vanilla cone from her hands. “How much was that?”

“Too bloody much, you know what these places are like.” She eyed his pulpy crime novel. “Any good?”

“Nah, not really. The premise is better than the actual execution.”

“You sound like a bloody English teacher.”

He mimed putting on an imaginary tie. “I would to you, working class scum.”

She gave him a dig in the arm. “Well if you’re so old money you can pay for the next round of ice creams, can’t you?”

“I’m afraid we’ve fallen on hard times.” He took another lick of his cornetto. “And as for earlier-“ he shoved it right onto her nose.

“Oi!” she said, brandishing her own strawberry like it was a dagger. “Have at you, foul villain!”

She struck towards him, and he grabbed her by the wrist, and thus commenced a fight that to an outside Eddie reckoned would look like two old people dancing unenthusiastically at a party.

This concluded with them both toppling onto the floor amidst gales of laughter, both with an ice cream cone jammed onto their noses.

Bella sighed. “This has been great, you know. All of it.” She licked a melting stream of strawberry from his cheek.

“You’re heading home tomorrow, aren’t you?” he asked, with a softness he didn’t know he had.

“Yeah. We’ll stay in touch, right?”

“Oh, of course, if you consider getting a ton of annoying YouTube videos that only I find funny sent at you every day staying in touch.”

She laughed. “Mate, I still laugh at pixelly videos of people falling over to royalty free music. Try your worst.”

“I’m gonna miss you, you know.”

She cuddled up to him; Eddie had never felt more safe, more at home, than he did now.

It would end, as all things did. But they had one last night together, and he would make it the best of both their lives.

Check back next Friday for the first part of Blizzard, a tale of a pioneer lost in the most desolate land in the world...